Befriending fear
Written by CIERRA PLOC-CANNING, dog trainer extraordinaire
What if I told you your new foster/adopted dog doesn’t need new toys, affection and treats?
Oswald came to my home on a Sunday evening; after coming out of a very unstable and neglectful environment, into a shelter, to a days long trip from Quebec to Ontario.
Upon arrival, I carried his crate inside and set it on the floor. I was burdened with feelings of sadness for him, a desire for him to know that humans aren’t something to fear, and an overwhelming urge to coax him out of his crate and begin to show him love the same way I may extend this love and care to a close friend or family member.
Here’s the hard truth, your foster/adoptive dog isn’t a loved one. There is no pre-existing relationship. We have no rapport with these dogs, and we must tread lightly.
Consistency and predictability play huge roles in developing trust with dogs. But how am I supposed to be consistent and predictable if he won’t even exit his crate? The short answer is to do nothing with him. I propped his crate door open, put a bowl of water down for him, and walked away. For 3 hours, Oswald stayed curled in the same ball, in the back corner. Again I fought the urge to try to calm him with talk and touch. Repeating to myself “he doesn’t know you, he doesn’t know where he is, he needs to feel safe and his crate is safe,” as I walked around my home and tidied.
Still, in the same ball, it was time to take my dogs outside, I closed his crate door, leashed my guys, and headed outside. As we passed by his crate, upon entry, he perked up towards the crate door and began to wag his tail. I placed my dogs, left his door closed, and ate dinner.
Noticing his demeanor towards Harlow, I decided to let her help, using social learning theory.
Oswald was now at the front of his crate, and uncomfortably he let me leash him. Slowly Oswald slinked out of his crate and into our space.
He began to relax, and show curiosity, but was still apprehensive. He bolted to a spare room and pancaked on the floor. I heeled Harlow past the room, and to my surprise he followed. He began to follow us around as we heeled through the space sometimes retreating into the spare room. I ended up sitting on the floor and Harlow lay beside me. I gave Harlow affection. Again, he perked up, got off the floor and walked over to her. I remained still and silent, and let my relationship with Harlow do the talking. 3 minutes later, Oswald curled in a ball away from us, so we left.
Had I rushed him the first few hours he was here, had we stayed in that room, had I tried to talk to him or touch him, there was great risk we would undo what he was doing on his own - seeking.
Seeking safety, seeking love, seeking trust.
This delicate balance, of allowing him to explore for himself the safety of what I know myself and this home to be, and adding the least amount of pressure from what he fears most, is the only way to provide him exactly what he needs. Love - in a way that he may begin to receive it and feel it. Trust - that humans hold value. Respect - of his current needs (space and time).
This foundation of trust and respect that is built through consistency, structure and predictability are the very bones of establishing a healthy relationship with your foster/adoptive dog. A relationship where they freely accept and enjoy our human desires to give affection, engage in play and offer treats.
The next time you bring a dog home, ask yourself: what does this dog need to feel safe, secure, loved and respected?